There are a lot of people suffering because of their way of thinking. Their mind produces very harmful untrue thoughts. Even though their thoughts are untrue these people believe 100% in their accuracy.
These people never learned not to take for granted their thoughts, and never learned who create their thoughts. No one taught these people how they should thinking, to avoid mental suffering.
Keep reading to find out why this saying is true:
| “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts “ |
WHERE DO YOUR THOUGHTS COME FROM?
Your thoughts are constantly helping you to interpret the world around you, describing what’s happening. You give your own meanings to everything happening around you sometimes without even recognizing it. You decide that something is dangerous or safe, pleasant or disgusting, good or bad.
Every day you interpret events happening around you. Due to your previous experiences, upbringing, culture, religious beliefs, and family values, you tend to have very different interpretations and evaluations of events than someone else.
Your mind produces thoughts and they have some characteristics:
- They are automatic which means they are “here” all of a sudden. They just happen, jumping into your head and you often won’t even notice them;
- Tend to multiply themselves in the same direction, leading to overthinking if they are not stopped;
- Your thoughts are yours – they are specific to you, perhaps because of your present or past experience, knowledge, values, and culture, or just for no good reason at all;
- They are sometimes true, sometimes false. Thoughts are not necessarily true or helpful;
- And the most important characteristic to understand: The big portion of your mental suffering happening because you believe them, believe what they are saying, without questioning their validity. You are not aware if they are accurate or inaccurate you just take them for granted and trust them 100%.
Don’t worry you are not alone! Most people do the same. You can learn how to turn off the autopilot in your mind (when you are not aware of your thoughts) and turn on your conscious (becoming aware of what is going on in your mind and why).
DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND BEHAVIOR ARE LINKED
Your mood and emotions are directly linked to your thoughts and affect your behavior.
Human thoughts, emotions, and human behavior are linked to each other and each one affects the other ones.
For instance, it is not possible to have bad thoughts about something happening in your life and feel very happy at the same moment.
For example, if you have a job interview soon and if you start thinking like this: “I will be confused and will not be able to show my qualities”, these thoughts will create many more similar thoughts, and you will start to feel very bad. This will directly cause your behavior, that is, you will not sleep all night.
Unlike you, maybe one of the other candidates is completely calm (feelings) because he/she thinks: “I will show what I know and if I do not get the job it will not be a disaster”, and will probably lie down (behavior) without too much anxiety.
Maybe you already guessed that is not the job interview (event), that made the first person anxious, or the second person calmer, but what the person thinking about a job interview, how he or she interprets this event. If it was just the event – job interview – that was causing the first person to feel more anxious, then why the second person didn’t feel the same way?
Obviously, there is something else here that makes a difference (their different thoughts).
PARTICULAR TYPES OF THOUGHTS TEND TO LEAD TO PARTICULAR EMOTIONS
Some people are stuck in a closed circle (patterns) of negative thinking, feelings, and behavior. They suffer a lot because of this.
In fact, the way of thinking can become the biggest enemy
Do you have the same enemy? Or someone around you has.
Keep reading to find out how to fight this enemy!
Particular types of thoughts tend to lead to particular emotions.
For example, if someone thinks:
“I have been disrespected, this is not fair to me, he/she are breaking my rule or standard and I don’t stand anymore”, likely will become ANGRY.
If someone thinks: “The future is black, nothing can be changed, I’m worthless and totally useless, I’m a failure, loser, everything is my fault, will become DEPRESSED.
Or thinks: “Something terrible is going to happen, I’m in danger, probably I couldn’t cope”, will become ANXIOUS.
Usually, to these unpleasant thoughts, people add the meaning about why he/she had them, like (I am a bad person!) which make the whole situation even worse.
Anger, depression, and anxiety are feelings
Anger, depression, and anxiety are feelings mostly caused by the mentioned way of thinking. They going to have an impact on the behavior.
So, a person in anger will start shouting at someone, hitting out, screaming, criticizing others (or have the urge to do those things), threats, losing control.
A depressed person will stay in bed, didn’t go out, sit and stare, watch television, don’t answer the phone, turn down an invite from a friend, don’t go to work, eat more (or less), sleep more (or less), no interest in others, no interest in sex, no interest in anything.
And an anxious person can’t stay in the same place, he/she is on alert all the time waiting for danger (this is usually perceived danger, probably there is no real danger for their life), look for help, drink more, smoke more, eat more (or less), disturb sleep, don’t talk to anyone, avoid eye contact.
Doing this specific behavior over and over again will make to increase the same feeling in intensity, the person is going to produce more and more similar thoughts like mentioned above, and finally will be stocked in the vicious cycle of certain thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
People can have the same thoughts, the same feelings, and the same behaviors, sometimes for years, even decades.
If you are one of these people, try to see the parts of your closed circle clearly, your thoughts, which make you feel and behave in a certain way. You can question them, whether are true or false, change them or get rid of them – and then is going to change the way you feel.
It is not going to be very easy, especially if you are stuck in the closed circle too long, but there is a light at the end of your tunnel.
Start today step by step, to fight your inner enemy.
Don’t believe your not useful and untrue thoughts anymore. You deserve a better and happier life.
In other words, being in this closed circle of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors means you making your thoughts multiply in the same direction, so they are increasing your mental suffering and keeping your behavior in tune with your thoughts and emotions.
In this way, your suffering increases, your mind is focused only on this closed circle.
This is very painful for you, but also for the ones that surround you, love you, and take care of you. They know you’re stuck, but they don’t know how to help you.
Get your mind in your hands
Fortunately, there is a way: To increase your consciousness and to get your mind in your hands. Try to understand that your mind produces thoughts automatically, which are not always true and useful.
Be critical of your thoughts! Find facts against them. Then you can start to make changes. Whether with your thoughts or in your behavior it is going to help you to feel better.
Start listening to what others have to say. A different perspective means you can see the bigger picture.
When your “autopilot button” is pressed that makes you feel your thoughts always right. The autopilot of your mind couldn’t allow you to accept someone else opinion. It pushes you to the point that you can’t see the forest for the trees.
This means your mind is closed. A closed mind is not helpful. Like a closed umbrella. You have an umbrella but if you couldn’t open it when outside is raining, it is totally useless.
YOUR DOMINANT THOUGHTS IN YOUR MIND AT THIS MOMENT MAKE YOUR PRESENT FEELINGS
Do you know what kind of thoughts is dominant in your mind at this moment?
Not your childhood
not your education,
not your experience before 20 years,
but what you are thinking right now,
what you believe in, here and now
makes your feelings at this moment.
The best way to become aware of your dominant thoughts present here and now in your mind is to “download” them from your mind on a piece of paper.
You only need a little time to spend in front of a piece of paper, and your thoughts are going to flow out. Write down all of them. Keep writing until you have not thoughts anymore.
After that take one thought and sees do you have facts to believe in that? To have facts means to have the evidence to support its truth, or many people will agree with it.
Are your thoughts logical, already proved in practice, or are only your opinions? Are they useful to keep in your mind?
Is there another perspective? How do other people see your situation?
After this, you are going to understand why you feel in a certain way. It will become very clear why you feel that way. Actually, every person if thinks like you will have the same feelings. Understanding this will help you to become aware of what you push to behave in a certain way.
So, if you realize that your dominant thoughts are not accurate 100% due to not having evidence, you can choose not to believe them anymore. Or stop reacting because of them. Only be aware they are not true.
And they are going to lose their power over you.
In fact, the closed circle can be broken by changing any component.
Change in behavior will also cause a change in thoughts and emotions.
Sometimes is very difficult to change behavior but if you understand what benefit will gain with that is better to urge yourself to do something unusual and different.
So start today not tomorrow.
Break your closed circle changing one component and see how the other two components are starting to change.
The power is in your hand and your decision.
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Go and see: Who makes you angry?
